Hello, friends and loved ones. Well, I'm happy to report that I am writing this message from my mom's basement. As I look out the window I see her lovely grass-covered yard (yes, GRASS I tell you, honest to God grass), my pollen-covered car (it's reaching white trash stage..I really need to clean that thing), and the little surburvan neighborhood street that connects this house with the thousand idential ones surrounding it. Having only been here a few days, this scene continues to instill in me a sense of nostalgia, but no doubt if I stayed here much longer that feeling would pass over into boredom, into frustration, into a panic to get the hell out of dodge. Luckily, I will be doing just that a week from today.

Not a whole lot to report. I have been keeping myself busy since I've been home, no surprise there. Not letting any moss grow on this rolling stone. I've been seeing friends, catching up, doing the circuit. I've been DRIVING again, which is always a trip. Haven't hit anything yet though. Been doing errands, all that stuff. My mom has like 30 hours worth of Survivor that I'm supposed to watch with her..augh. I'll try! The other day I went out to a karaoke bar in Seattle with my friend Meresa and that was awesome. It made me realize once again how much I love Seattle and I love the scene. I mean, we got there, and there was ACTUALLY a table to sit down at, and we weren't packed in like sardines, and I didn't have to be paranoically guarding my purse the whole time. AND, we got seven dollar pitchers of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Oh yea. That's when I knew I was home.

And you know what that means. It means it's time to leave again! So after no doubt an action packed week here in the Northwest, it'll be back up north for me. Just enough time for me to touch down and get my bearings. It'll be good.

Y ahora, voy a escribir algo mas pequeno en espanol. Perdona, pero no puedo usar los tildes con este ordenador. Je je. Es mejor, porque probablemente los use mal. :-) No puedo hablar tan poetica como en ingles, pero intentare algo. No te rias de mis errores!

Bueno, si. Estoy aqui otra vez. Todo es muy normal, y muy extrano al mismo tiempo. Es que..he pasado para estas calles muchisimas vezes, entonces, es bastante comodo estar aqui. Pero tambien, es muy raro... No se. Es asi cada vez que viajo. No tengo muchos amigos que todavia viven aqui, y los que hay tienen una vida diferente ahora, como yo. Con unos todavia puedo hablar bastante bien, pero con otros, ya no tengo mucho en comun.

Siento que mi tiempo en espana era un sueno. Pero no es posible porque ahora puedo hablar espanol, luego hay que haber estado ahi. :-) Ahora tengo miedo olvidar todo mi espanol... Tengo que entontrar alguien para practicar. Hmm. Y ademas tengo mis libros para leer. Puedo aprender mucho del Quijote!!

I leave Spain two weeks from today, after which point I will be in the greater Seattle area for approximately a week and half, after which point I will be flying back up to Alaska. Once again, I will be on a collision course with destiny! Which is good, because I´ve been in one place really for entirely too long.

This year, in almost every sense, has been better than last year. I´ve had better roommates, I´ve gotten paid better, I´ve had better classes, and I speak Spanish better. Everything has been an improvement. I can say this, looking back on the year objectively, although at certain points along the way it certainly didn´t seem that way. I always understand my life better at a distance -- after writing it down, or after looking back on something that happened in the past from a different point of reference. While I´m in it, I might only see the bad side, but then afterwards, I can look back on it with humor and pull out the lesson from it. Or at least, that´s what I try to do. Besides, I seem to usually only remember good things, or at least, disproportionately so.

The winter was just so hard on me this year. The weather was so cold, my apartment was so dreary. I had major problems with work right about the same time that I the thing ended with The Mexican. This boy problem really has bothered me more than I feel it should have. It was probably just a combination of factors that lead it to get to me so badly... At any rate, January, February...in retrospect I feel like I was sleep walking for about a month and a half. I did basically nothing memorable or important. I don´t even know if I laughed. And for those of you that know me at all, you can imagine what a change that would be.

The thing that bothers me about the world is that so much of what happens to us is based on luck. Sure, we can control our fate to a certain extent, to a large extent, but so much is still left up to chance, no matter what we do. Especially in the small, day to day things, which at the moment seem insignificant (Do I go out tonight? Do I go to this bar, or that bar? Which hostel do I stay at?), but can actually turn out to change your entire path of destiny. I made the active decision to come to Spain, but what happened to me after that I only had a fraction of the control over, and most decisions that I made, I made blind.

And this bothers me, not having control over whom I meet and when. Over what happens to me and how. But what can I do about it? It´s just the way the world works. I don´t like this feeling of helplessnes, of dependence on the decisions of others, or lack of decision of others. Probably a lot of it has to do with my floating around from place to place all the time. I´m always starting over, building a friend-base from the bottom up. If you stay in one place for a longer time, you have more control. You make more educated decisions which will hopefully lead you in a direction you want to go. You spread your sphere of influence. Or at least it seems so to me.

I feel like I have learned what I can from Spain, the language, the culture, the people. And I am proud of my accomplishments, especially with Spanish. I´ve also learned a lot about the English language and being a teacher along the way. I´m sure that I´ve also learned a multitude of things about myself, as well as American culture and society, though it´s hard for me to tell now because what I have garnered has become so integrated into my everyday knowledge and thought that it no longer seems new to me. Maybe it´ll become more clear once I´m back in the US.

Not only all that, but it´s been fun. I´ve met a lot of interesting folks and had some funny adventures. Things that seem terribly blase to me no doubt could sound impressive to others. I probably don´t give myself enough credit for how cool I am. ;) Or maybe I give myself too much...

I suppose I haven´t written anything in a while because I haven´t done anything too outstanding lately. I´ve developed a pretty standard routine. It seems that every time I do this it means it´s time for me to get up and leave, so I guess this should be my sign that I have to move on. So it´s a good thing I am.

> > Therefore, the> > day the shit hit the fan in the matter of this relationship, I went over> > to my> > friend Kristen╢s house, who has been recently having similar problems to> > mine with a certain fellow of the Irish persuasion.>where is kristen from?

Kristen is from Pennsylvania. She´s a rad chick and we like to over-analyze together. It´s good fun.

> > So that╢s basically along the lines of what our thinking was. We are> > going> > to make a t-shirt out of one of them, still not sure which.>as an esl teacher, english lit major, and all around bitch, i want to make>a tshirt that says: "GRAMMAR MATTERS.">heh

Dude, that´s awesome. That is even BETTER. Kristen and I have made a shirt now. It says, ¨YO,¨ then a picture of a little heart, ¨EMPOLLONES,¨ which means nerd in Spanish. Heheh. You have no idea how cool it is. It´s so cool though, I can only wear it in the US where no one will understand it, because well, here, let´s just say it´s not really their type of humor. The whole ¨I lover nerds¨ bumper sticker fad never caught on.

> > ... So now I╢m not> > sure what I╢m going to do. I have enough money to survive, but not much> > more, and besides that, now I have all this stupid free time... I╢ve put> > up some advertisements so hopefully I╢ll get some more soon. We shall> > see I guess.>but you're staying in spain?>for sure?>do you feel its like your home now?

Actually, no. I have not been having so hot a time lately. I´ve gotten the work bullshit worked out, so that´s okay, but this boy thing is bothering me way more than it should. But hey, get this. GET THIS. So. Last week, out of the freaking clear blue sky, after not talking to him for a month, and after already coughing up this experience as a wash, he calls me. I don´t know WHAT he wants, except that he wants ¨to talk.¨ Hay cosas de que hablar, he says. O-kay. So I go and meet him, not knowing if he wants to start dating me again, if he wants to apologize, whatever. So we go to a cafe thing to grab a bite, chit chat, chit chat, bla bla bla. Catching up. Then, he says, the reason that he wanted to meet me was to inform me that he has met another girl that he liked, well, that he likes, and that likes him, and they´re dating now. Um, what? What exactly was the reason that I needed to know this?? I already KNEW the relationship was over so like, all this did was let me know that he´s moved on, he has someone new to cuddle with, and I have nobody. As per usual.

So..he tells me this and I´m like..uuuuh. Not really knowing what to say. These things are hard to talk about in English, let alone in Spanish, and I just basically didn´t know what to SAY. So he´s like, what are you thinking, you´re sitting here not talking and I don´t know what do think, bla bla. And I say, well, it really doesn´t matter what I think, because this is the way it is. I mean, what can I do? What exactly did he want me to say, ¨WAY TO GO!¨? So of course then he´s like, well, you know, I think you´re really cool and we get along well, we can still be friends, bla bla bla gag me. And I say, well, I don´t know if I want to be your friend. I think you want me to say I will be your friend because you don´t want to feel bad about what you have done. And he says, but I don´t feel bad. OUCH. I mean, ouch!!

Ugh. Why the fuck did he have to meet me to tell me this? I was doing way better beFORE hand. Now I have to start the grieving process all over again, only this time with the knowledge that he´s fucking someone else. What the hell was the point?? I can ONLY imagine that he THOUGHT he was doing the right thing, but the RIGHT thing would have been to tell me A MONTH AGO, not now. He had ALREADY done the WRONG thing, by not talking to me, so he can´t like, retroactively fix that. Besides, there is not real reason on God´s green earth that I needed to know he found someone else. I really could have done without that information, thank you.

This stupid boy thing is bothering me way, way more than it should. I think..part of it is that I liked him and he doesn´t want to be with me, but part of it is just like..I am so freaking lonely I can´t even express it to you. Part of this is situational, being here in Spain, but the majority of it really I don´t think has anything to do with that, and is only a fact of where I am in my life right now. And having somebody, even for such a short period of time..it felt so freaking good. And now, I don´t have it again and I´m just..depressed. And fed up with working and all that bullshit too. It´s bad, people can see it on my face. A bunch of my friends have been like, what´s wrong with you? You seem tired, you seem uspet. I mean, that´s bad, Tonya, if you can see it on my face. Besides, it definitely won´t help me find anybody new if I´m walking around looking like death. But what can I do? Contort my muscles into a happy face?

I don´t know. Like, yesterday I made dinner for my friends and it was fun. A whole bunch of people came over, there were like 15 people jammed into our tiny-tiny-ass apartment. A saw a few friends that I really hadn´t seen in a long time, too, and it was fun. And I had fun, but..probably not as much fun as I should have. It´s like this terrible feeling I just can´t shake off. It´s like this weight on my back, this depressed feeling I have. And even if I´m doing something fun, it´s still there.

But I´m only here for two more months. After that, I´m going back to Alaska for the summer. I´m really looking forward to it. A bunch of my friends from last year are coming back, and Bethany from WU is going to be working there too, which will be awesome. Right now, I´m just so fed up with Madrid, fed up with life here...working, all that bullshit, and now this boy problem. And it´s been freaking freezing lately. I just want to GO, like, right now. After the summer, here comes the question of what I´m going to do NEXT. The two most likely options are, come back to Madrid for another year, or move to California in the hopes of applying to graduate school down there. Right now, this seems like the more likely option. I need to wait a few months though, be in Alaska for a while, get some distance on my life here in Spain, in order to make the right decision.

>sorry to hear about your loss... i wish i could say i really believed all>the feminist stuff. i have to get more into it, i suppose. but i really>WANT a solid relationship. family, kids, you know... is that "weak"? and>"womanly"? i dont give a fuck if it is.>even though you're going through a rough phase (or getting over a rough>phase), you're still an inspiration to me.

Dude, I know what you mean. I am just so fucking fed up with this whole freaking game of dating and boys. I just want to QUIT it, never play again. I want to NOT CARE, to NOT WANT affection and love and cariño, but I can´t help it! I just do! And I´m a VERY independent woman, too. And so are you. And even WE want it still. Ugh! Goddamn evolution! Giving us this driving desire for companionship. It´s great when it´s being fullfilled, but when it´s not, it sucks!

So I know exactly what you mean about the wanting a solid relationship. I haven´t had what I would call a boyfriend for about three years, and even then it wasn´t very serious. I´ve ¨dated¨ a few people since then but nobody very seriously, and not as often as I´d like, so I just feel like this fat, ugly, disgusting unlovable creature that no one will ever want, which OF COURSE I know is not true, at least my head does, but it doesn´t MATTER because my heart doesn´t believe it. But of course, it´s a vicious circle, because after all what you define as real is real in its consequences, so if I THINK I´m ugly and unlovable, I will ACT that way, and no one will love me. Grr. Like I said about people being able to see it on my face. That is BAD, Tonya. How can I stop it from showing through?

I think I have some of the similar problems as you do. I trust too easily too, and I fall in love too easily and too fast. I just feel like I have all this affection that I want to give, and I´m looking, looking, looking for a receptacle to put it in. And until I do, I cannot rest.

I, too, feel that watching Sex and the City is a great inspiration to us all. These days, after the bullshit with this stupid boy, I have been especially inspired by the post-it episode, where Burger breaks up with Ceri on a post-it. Because, goddamn it, THERE IS a good way to break up with someone, which is telling them straight out, to their face, that you are a chicken-shit little weakling who is governed by his penis (or whatever particular problem you may have), and that sorry, you´re too fucked up to be in a relationship. But no, boys are too scared of us. They are like, scared we are going to freak out or something. But the thing that makes us FREAK OUT is not knowing what the fuck is going on! A seed of doubt, no matter how small, can drive us OUT OF OUR MINDS!! And no, you can´t go back, one month later, and THEN explain what is going on, and think that´s good enough. One month is past the statute of limitations, my friend.

Man, Bethany, I have really not been having so hot a time lately. This stupid boy thing is bothering me way, way more than it should. I think..part of it is that I liked him and he doesn´t want to be with me (btw, I recently found out he´s already moved on and found a different girl), but part of it is just like..I am so freaking lonely I can´t even express it to you. Part of this is situational, being here in Spain, but the majority of it really I don´t think has anything to do with that, and is only a fact of where I am in my life right now. And having somebody, even for such a short period of time..it felt so freaking good. And now, I don´t have it again and I´m just..depressed. And fed up with working and all that bullshit too. It´s bad, people can see it on my face. A bunch of my friends have been like, what´s wrong with you? You seem tired, you seem uspet. I mean, that´s bad, Bethany, if you can see it on my face. Besides, it definitely won´t help me find anybody new if I´m walking around looking like death. But what can I do? Contort my muscles into a happy face? I´m here for two more months and I just like, I just want to go. I want to go right now. I am fed up. I need a change. I wish you were here to talk to about this. My friend Kristen has been a life-saver these past two months, at least I have her, but I would like to talk to you too. ´

I don´t know. Like, yesterday I made dinner for my friends and it was fun. A whole bunch of people came over, there were like 15 people jammed into our tiny-tiny-ass apartment. A saw a few friends that I really hadn´t seen in a long time, too, and it was fun. And I had fun, but..probably not as much fun as I should have. It´s like this terrible feeling I just can´t shake off. It´s like this weight on my back, this depressed feeling I have. And even if I´m doing something fun, it´s still there. I don´t know...these days, I´ve been thinking maybe I will move to California this year after all. I REALLY feel the urge to get back in school, I think about it all the time. And it´s like, if that´s what my heart is telling me to do, I should probably do it.

So, not too surprisingly, as it is my sad lot in life it seems, my potentially awesome relationship with The Mexican has gone kaput. And I can´t say I´m surprised. The whole time that it lasted, the whole month, that is to say, I never felt very secure about it. I always felt like something was going to go wrong, which it did.

But although I´m not surprised, this does not mean I am not sad. The reasons for the break up aren´t really important. I think it´s really a matter of timing, more than anything else. He is super-busy right now with his thesis and his job, just got out of a bad relationship, bla bla bla bla bla. I have basically gone through all the phases of mourning about this. Sadness, anger, confusion, ambivalence. Right now I would say I´m in a state of ennui. No doubt I´ll probably go all the way through the cycle again once or twice before I´m completely over it.

The thing that helps the most in these situations, I have found, is being with good girlfriends. Thank god that here in Spain I know some kick-ass chicks who enjoy over-analyzing almost as much as I do. Therefore, the day the shit hit the fan in the matter of this relationship, I went over to my friend Kristen´s house, who has been recently having similar problems to mine with a certain fellow of the Irish persuasion. Full of frustration, anxiety, and sadness, I allowed myself to indulge in a number of sins in which I usually do not partake: I drank a full liter of diet coke, ate an enire package of donuts, and smoked more cigarettes than I had in the entire past year. And you know what? It felt damn good. After that, Kristen and I watched a really stupid movie, and I went home feeling about as good as I possibly could, considering the circumstances.

That Satuday, the day after, Kristen, Andrea, and I got together again. Andrea, who is in a so far successful relationship with a Spaniard, cannot really understand at the moment the way Kristen and I are feeling, but it was good to have her there. After she left, Kristen and I fell back into the old pattern and started having a Yee Olde Fashioned Bitch-Fest. Yes boys, the rumors you have heard about girls doing this sort of thing are entirely true. We put on angry lesbian music and rocked out with our bad selves. Later we also watched Home Alone dubbed in Spanish, which didn´t have anything to do with the bitch-fest, but was just ironic enough to be funny.

This process, of course, was augmented by the two bottles of wine we had drunk, as well as some rum and coke. Now, I´ve attended many a bitch-fest in my day, even hosted a few, but this one was a doozy. For posterity´s sake, we wrote down some of the most choice catch phrases and words of wisdom that we managed to come up with. I will share them with you now:

Just say ¨NO!¨ to Mexico!

Sometimes shy, is lame.

There´s a difference between loud and outgoing.

Men are bullshit!

Fuckaaaah.

If he didn´t have such a wonderful penis, we would all be in better shape right now.

Relationships are like poker; it´s all about who has the upper hand. I had no hand!

This pain is only temporary; herpes is forever.

¨People need to learn to love the semi-colon.¨¨Dude, truer words were never spoken.¨

It´s all about perspective.

It´s almost fun to be bitter.

Guys just play playstation. We hash it out and have a good time.

Hope kills.
Fuck it.
Whatever.
Jane Austen´s books are like trashy romance novels but without the sex, so what´s the point?
Some things you just can´t translate -- it´s not as funny. It´s like Home Alone.
Cool people smoke.
Fucking Irish.
You can´t blame the country. After all, Spain is a delightful place and I´m sure there´s a lot of douchebags here.
In these situations you either laugh or you cry, or maybe a little bit of both. And that´s okay.
So that´s basically along the lines of what our thinking was. We are going to make a t-shirt out of one of them, still not sure which.
But anyway, yea. That´s that. I´m feeling better about it now, but I´m still kind of sad. My sadness is not helped by the fact that last week I lost a third of my classes. Fuck. All my privates with the kids, which, granted, I hated, but which were nonetheless good money. So now I´m not sure what I´m going to do. I have enough money to survive, but not much more, and besides that, now I have all this stupid free time... I´ve put up some advertisements so hopefully I´ll get some more soon. We shall see I guess.
Anyway, I´ve got to go meet Kristen now again. We´re going to get stoned and watch The Family Guy.

I am doing pretty well these days (except for the fact that currently I think I might be coming down with the flu..I couldn´t sleep last night due to an aching stomach and issues in the intestinal area, if you know what I mean). But besides that, things are going well. I feel pretty comfortable here. I feel content with my little group of friends and in my crappy-ass apartment. Today we are throwing another party wherein I´m sure, as per usual, way too many people will be crammed into way too small an area. But it´ll be fun. The more I think about what the hell I´m going to do next year, the more I realize that the easiest and perhaps most fun and satisfying option might be just to come back here to Madrid. A lot of the friends I have here will still be here. Unfortunately, not all of them, but at least I wouldn´t have to start all over again.

Things with The Mexican are going well. I really like this boy. He is very nice. He is outgoing and pleasant to everyone, and he tries to make conversation with everyone around him. And besides, he´s very sweet and cariñoso with me. The fact that he is Mexican actually means that we have a lot more in common than I would have with a Spaniard. For one, he too is living outside his country, and this is something that only people who have done it can really understand. It makes him a lot more independent and self-sufficient, like me, than the 26 year old Spanish boys who still live with their parents. And like I said before, he´s doing his doctorate in Sociolgy, which means that he, like me, has the sociological imagination. I mean, last time we hung out, we discussed the pros and cons of Erving Goffman´s The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. How cool is that?

Having a relationship based completely in Spanish is kind of cool too. It´s very different, at times a little weird. But overall, very fun and satisfying. I am very proud of myself, that I can do this now. That I speak Spanish well enough to have friendships only in this language. Sometimes it is annoying though, that I want to tell him something and I can´t, or, I probably can, but I could tell it a lot better and a lot more entertainingly in English. And I´m sure that half the time I sound like an absolute retard, though he doesn´t show it. And I feel stupid when I can´t understand him either, but he´s pretty patient with me. I think this whole language thing probably bothers me more than it bothers him. But it´s great though, because I can practice speaking so much when I´m with him. I practice with my roommates and my other friends too, of course, but it´s different with someone you´re dating. Because your friends may or may not actually care about what you did today, or whatever problem you are dealing with. But with someone you are dating..well you just talk more I think. There´s a lot more things to talk about. I´ve probably told him more things about myself already than Nacho my roommate, or Helena.

And besides all this, he is adorable too. He is very sweet and gentle. He´s really big for a Mexican though. I mean, Mexicans are usually pretty short, but he´s like, 6´ 2¨ at least I think. Course I´m not sure because he only knows his height in meters. I always seem to like tall boys, but it´s kind of annoying too because he´s spent the night at my house a few times and all I have is this little kiddie bed and this really small pillow, and I really have been trouble sleeping with him because he takes up three quarters of the space. And he kind of snores. Anyhoo, I´m trying not to get my hopes up though. But who am I kidding, I always get my hopes up.

The good mood I have been in lately is due in no small part to this boy I´m sure. Other people have been noticing the change without me even saying one thing about it. The most embarrassing/funniest thing ever happened to me in one of my classes the other day... I have this class Monday and Wednesday morning at the Ministerio de Fomento with a bunch of middle aged civil servants. They speak really badly and they´re kind of slow, but that´s okay because they´re cute and sweet. There´s this one named Pedro who is obviously a child of the 60´s and always talks about how he loves everybody and everything and wears rainbow colored plaid shirts to class sometimes. He´s my favorite. Anyway, the other day in class, I was talking about some boring grammar point, and the funniest thing happened...

¨So you see class, the future continuous is used to talk about things that will be in the process of occuring, sometime in the future...¨ I was explaining. I looked up from my book and noticed that as usual, Jose, the trouble maker, was talking to his neighbor, once again, while I was trying to explain something.

¨Jose, Delores,¨ I said. ¨Do you have something you would like to share with the rest of us?¨

Delores and Jose looked at each other and started to giggle. ¨Ghee say dat joo are een loff,¨ Delores smiled.

¨What?! Where did that come from??¨ I thought to myself. I had just been talking about the future continuous, not having ANYTHING to do with romance. How did they know?? My face turned and red as a beet and I started to squirm.

¨Ah! Ees trroo!¨ laughed Pedro, the old hippie. ¨She ees verry reth!¨

Now, at this point, I couldn´t deny it. Of course I wasn´t in love, but I also couldn´t say that I WASN´T either since I recently HAD met somebody.

¨Wghat ees hees name?¨ they asked.

Okay, I really did not want to start this conversation. There is no reason that my middle aged government employee students need to know anything about my love life, but they had kind of backed me into a corner.

¨Umm..his name is Israel...¨ I conceded reluctantly.
¨Ghow ald arr joo?¨ they asked.

Assuming that what they really intended to ask was how old was HE, I answered, ¨Twenty-six...¨

¨Ees perfect!¨ they exclaimed.

¨Ees Espanish boy?¨ asked Delores.

¨No, he´s Mexican,¨ I said.

¨Ahhh...¨
Now, at this point, I really did NOT want to go into this anymore, so I tried to stear the conversation back to grammar. Then we moved onto a reading exercise, which, por lo tonto, just HAPPENED to be talking about Valentine´s Day. Crap.

¨Oooo!¨ squealed Pedro. ¨Gwhat day ees Balentine´s Day?¨

Of course, Valentine´s Day is a Monday, a day when we have class. Crap.

¨Oooo!¨ squealed Pedro. ¨Gwe gwill ghaff a lot to tallk abowt dees day...¨ he chuckled.

I can´t wait.

So apparently you can read something on my face about this whole boy situation. I certainly hope everything goes alright now, so I don´t have to just burst out crying or something if they bring it up on Valentine´s day if we´re not seeing each other anymore by that point. But I think we will be. I think...

Hey! How was everybody´s holidays? Me, I had a grand old time in Wales. These people I stayed with, Graham and Elaine, they are so nice, I can´t even tell you. I hadn´t seen them for ten years, and even then I only stayed with them for a few days, but it was like no time had passed at all. They instantly accepted me like part of their family and I felt right at home.

Christmas was spent at their house. Their daughter, who is my age, and her husband came over and we all opened presents. I had knitted them each a scarf, which I think they liked. And they got me a couple cute things too, which they totally didn´t have to do. They live in a town called Chepstow, one of those small towns where everybody knows everybody else, so throughout the day we had various visits from neighbors and friends, including the gay mayor of the town (who, incidentally, had moved back home to Chepstow from Cardiff after being mugged and hit in the head with a frozen leg of lamb by a band of hooligans...this has nothing to do with anything but I just thought it was really funny), and the two adorable little kids from next door, who talked with this perfect little Welsh accent that was very cute.

The 26th, Boxing Day, we saw more family. They are all so very nice and accepting, I felt right at home. They are all very proud of being Welsh. Graham has the Welsh National Anthem as the ringtone on his mobile. If he hadn´t told me that´s what it was, I wouldn´t have known. The rest of the week I spent going around with Graham and Elaine to various places and watching lots of TV in English, which was a treat. A very nice time indeed. I´m really glad I went. Really, really glad. I still would have rather been home, but not being able to be home, this was really the next best thing.

I arrived back in Spain on the 30th of January, managing to dodge once again the watchful eye of the Spanish authorities, and entered the country illegally again. Hehehe. Piece of cake. When I left for Wales I still wasn´t sure what I was going to do for New Year´s, but I figured I would be doing somethnig interesting. And folks, I was right.

That´s right, friends. After what has been a very long time, by all accounts TOO long, Chloe has finally gotten some booty. Por FIN. Let me tell you what happened...

So with my roommates Nacho (yes, Nacho) and Ignasi I went to Nacho´s lady friend Amalia´s apartment for New Year´s Eve dinner. This was the first time I had been there, and I met all her roommates, including a handsome fellow named Israel. So we had dinner, ate twelve grapes at midnight as the tradition dictates, and then went off to a party of a friend of Amalia´s. Israel didn´t go though because, I´m not sure why exactly, because he had to hang out with a different friend of his or something, or something lame like that.

The party was alright. There were a lot of people there that I didn´t know and I was feeling kind of shy. I was the only foreigner there, which was kind of interesting. They were playing all this eighties music, and all the songs I knew nobody else knew the words for, and all the Spanish songs that everybody else knew I had no idea about. It was kind of funny. Later though Israel showed up to the party after all, and we started talking. And we talked and we talked and we talked...for like four or five hours actually I think, until it was like eight o´clock in the morning, and finally we left...juntos. And yes, I finally had a true Spanish..intercambio.

This boy is very interesting. He´s twenty-five, he´s from Mexico, and he´s doing his doctorate here in Madrid in Sociology. He is very tall, with brown skin, black hair, and black eyes. But, most importantly, he doesn´t live with his parents. And a fellow Sociologist to boot! He has a very soothing accent, too. I don´t know, somehow pillow talk seems sexier in Spanish. This experience, however, has led me to realize that there is a whole slough of important Spanish vocabulary that I still don´t know. This could be a problem when needing to describe or explain certain things. But I´m sure I will learn the necessary nomenclature in due time. After all, it´s leagues easier to learn a language when you have the motivation to do so. Ahem.

I don´t know. I think I could like this boy. We shall see. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much. I have a bad habit with that... I am going to Play it Cool this time. Which, to be honest, is a game I have never understood. But I must remember the lessons I have learned from the movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days (Have you seen this movie? I just saw it in Wales. It´s hilarious. I was a wee bit shocked to realize however that a number of mistakes they pointed out that women make, I, myself, have indeed made. Oops.) and just hope for the best.

So I guess you could say I´ve invited in the new year with a bang. Ah yes. Things are looking up. For the moment anyway. We´ll see. If I never see him again, eh, whatever. It was fun anyway. But I have a feeling I WILL see him again.